Saturday, April 6, 2013

Confronting a fear

I write quite a lot. Usually it's just little pieces, but sometimes it's a bigger story. Rarely do I actually end up finishing them. Somewhere along the way of writing a story I start to feel like it's garbage. I'm always a little scared that my writing isn't good enough, even though I don't actually show my stories to anyone. So today is about confronting a fear: showing my writing to someone else.
I don't feel like reading it to my family just yet, but publicing it here is already a big step. This way a lot more people will probably read it, but mostly people that are strangers to me.

I'm sharing just a little piece with you today. Hopefully it doens't contain to many spelling errors or weird sentence structures. (English is not my native language) And ofcourse it's just fiction.

‘So, who is this guy?’ Valdemar asked. I searched his face. I could see he was trying not to show emotions, but het still looked angry to me. I didn’t blame him. It wasn’t the first lie he had cought me on. There was so much I hadn’t told hem, so much I didn’t want him to know. If I would tell him just this one thing, the whole facade I had created would crumble, and fall apart. I didn’t want that to happen, but I also didn’t want to lose him.
‘Go on, tell me’ he urged. ‘Okay’, I said and I took a breath. ‘I’ve known Alexander for a very long time. He used the work for my dad when I was a little kid’. I looked at him, waiting to see his reaction. He was surprised, as I had expected. I never talked about my dad with him. The only thing that I had told Valdemar about him, was that he was dead. Which was again, a lie.
I didn’t really know how to continue. I knew how to talk endlessly about every lie I had invented, but when it came to the truth, I wasn’t that great. I saw that he was getting a little impatient with me, when I hadn’t said anything for a while. ‘I just… need to figure out how to tell you this. That I’m pausing doesn’t mean that I won’t tell you, because I will’. I sighed and sat down on one of the big rocks that were scattered along the shoreline. Normally I would have minded the cold of it, but not today. The sea was calm and peacefull. Nothing like I felt inside. Valdemar sat down next to me and grabbed my hand. I felt good, and it was also a reassurance that I hadn’t completely driven him away.

Feel free to leave a comment on what you think so far!


  1. Hi ^^ it sounds like you're really serious about writing. Might I suggest a book? It's called No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty. It's a novel that tells you how to write a book in one month!
    And also, I like to daydream stories and sometimes I also feel like they're not good enough, or not original enough. it made my life easier just to daydream without feel the need to make a good stories. Just do whatever you like! You can always go back and edit it when you're done :-) hope this helps! (and doesn't sound too preachy :p)

    1. Thanks so much! I checked out the book you suggested and it sounds like something I could really use. Whenever I'll have the chance I'll read it.
      I know I can always edit my story, but when I do it always feels a little like I've failed. Which ofcourse is silly, since no writer probably ever publiced their first draft! I'll try to remember it ;).